Step Nine
"Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."
Probably there are still some
misgivings. As we look
over the list of business acquaintances and friends
we have hurt, we may feel diffident about going to some
of them on a spiritual basis. Let us be reassured. To
some people we need not, and probably should not
emphasize the spiritual feature on our first approach.
We might
prejudice them. At the moment we are trying
to put our lives in order. But this is not an end in itself.
Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum
service to God and the people about us. It is seldom
wise to approach an individual, who still smarts from
our injustice to him, and announce that we have gone
religious. In the prize ring, this would be called leading
with the chin. Why lay ourselves open to being
branded fanatics or religious bores? We may kill a future
opportunity to carry a beneficial message. But
our man is sure to be impressed with a sincere desire to
set right the wrong. He is going to be more interested
in a demonstration of good will than in our talk of spiritual
discoveries.
We don't
use this as an excuse for shying away from
the subject of God. When it will serve any good purpose,
we are willing to announce our convictions with
tact and common sense. The question of how to approach
the man we hated will arise. It may be he has
done us more harm than we have done him and, though
we may have acquired a better attitude toward him, we
are still not too keen about admitting our faults. Nevertheless,
with a person we dislike, we take the bit in
our teeth. It is harder to go to an enemy than to a friend,
but we find it much more beneficial to us. We go to
him in a helpful and forgiving spirit, confessing our
former ill feeling and expressing our regret.
Under no condition do we criticize such a person
or argue. Simply tell him that we will never get over
drinking until we have done our utmost to straighten
out the past. We are there to sweep off our side
of the street, realizing that nothing worth while can
be
accomplished until we do so, never trying to
tell him what he should do. His faults are not discussed.
We stick to our own. If our manner is calm, frank, and
open, we will be gratified with the result.
In nine
cases out of ten the unexpected happens.
Sometimes the man we are calling upon admits his own
fault, so feuds of years' standing melt away in an hour.
Rarely do we fail to make satisfactory progress. Our
former enemies sometimes praise what we are doing
and wish us well. Occasionally, they will offer assistance.
It should not matter, however, if someone does
throw us out of his office. We have made our demonstration,
done our part. It's water over the dam.
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