Step Four
"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."
Next we
launched out on a course of vigorous action,
the first step of which is a personal housecleaning,
which many
of us had never attempted. Though our
decision was vital and crucial step, it could have little
permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous
effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves
which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom.
So we had to get down to causes and conditions.
Therefore,
we started upon a personal inventory. This
was Step Four. A business which takes no regular
inventory usually goes broke. Taking commercial
inventory is a fact-finding and a fact-facing process. It
is an effort to discover the truth about the stock-in-trade.
One object is to disclose damaged or unsalable goods,
to get rid of them promptly and without regret. If the
owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool
himself about values.
We did
exactly the same thing with our lives. We
took stock honestly. First, we searched out the flaws in
our make-up which caused our failure. Being convinced
that self, manifested in various ways, was what had
defeated us, we considered its common manifestations.
Resentment
is the "number one" offender. It destroys
more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all
forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only
mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually
sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we
straighten out mentally and physically. In dealing
with resentments, we set them on paper. We listed
people, institutions or principle with who we were
angry. We asked ourselves why we were angry. In
most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our
pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships
(including
sex) were hurt or threatened. So we were
sore. We were "burned up."
On our
grudge list we set opposite each name our
injuries. Was it our self-esteem, our security, our ambitions,
our personal, or sex relations, which had been
interfered with?
We were
usually as definite as this example:
|
I'm
resentful at:
|
The
Cause
|
Affects
my:
|
|
Mr.
Brown
|
His
attention to my
wife.
Told my wife of my
mistress.
Brown may get my job
at the office.
|
Sex
relations
Self-esteem (fear)
Sex relations
Self-esteem (fear)
Security
Self-esteem (fear)
|
|
Mrs.
Jones
|
She's
a nut - she
snubbed me. She
committed her husband
for drinking.
He's my friend
She's a gossip.
|
Personal
relationship.
Self-esteem
(fear)
|
|
My
employer
|
Unreasonable
- Unjust
- Overbearing -
Threatens to fire
me for my drinking
and padding my
expense account.
|
Self-esteem
(fear)
Security.
|
|
My
wife
|
Misunderstands
and
nags. Likes Brown.
Wants house put in
her name.
|
Pride
-- Personal
sex relations --
Security (fear)
|
We went
back through our lives. Nothing counted
but thoroughness and honesty.
|